This past week, I got to catch up with a great bunch of people, some of whom I haven’t seen for 40 years, at a small school re-union.
How great to re-connect with people who you haven’t seen for so long, yet you are drawn together to reminisce, and laugh, about those awkward teen years! A period in your life where fitting in with the antics of the ‘In crowd’ was all you wanted out of life.
For those on the outer, it was a bitter pill to swallow, as you knew for whatever reason, you would never be accepted as one of the cool kids. The 'out' kids, a motley bunch, tended to gravitate towards each other, and formed their own circles - an innate survival skill, it would seem!
These formative years were all so important as we strived to connect with each other and find our niche in an ever-changing world. Our best, often life-time, buddies were forged in the schoolyard. This is where we realised that we liked to belong, we liked to be part of a group or, at least, have a special someone, a best friend, to relate to and hang out with.
This need to belong, to bond, to have a community, is a fundamental drive that characterises us as human beings. As our ancestors sat around the camp fire after a long day foraging and gathering, or weary from the hunt to feed the clan, our forefathers delighted in the communal gathering, strengthening emotional and social bonds by sharing food, stories and chores.
These social connections are critical to our identity and our overall well-being.
As we drifted from the schoolyard into adulthood, we gravitated towards new communities, connections, and friend circles - in our work, sporting, and eventually our own family groups. We formed new friendships as we navigated through life, leaving older fiends by the wayside and picking up new friends as our life circumstances change. Our personal communities were, and are, continually changing, but our need for kinship and social connection, is ever-present.
It makes sense, then, that social connection is one of the fundamental principles for our well-being.
Making a meaningful contribution, being heard and valued, and having a purpose in the community are all values that promote self-esteem and a sense of belonging. Helping others through our social connections stimulates our feel-good hormones, increasing well-being.
Unfortunately, as we age we find ourselves involved in fewer and fewer life communities.
Social connection eventually gives way to social isolation… this loneliness becomes the new ‘companion’ of the elderly. Social isolation can be crippling and can have serious health consequences for those who have little human interaction. Who doesn’t feel better after a chat? Young or old – everyone enjoys, and thrives on, that connectedness.
Social media provides a false sense of community as 'likes' and 'follows' replace real relationships. When your holiday snaps and highlights are played out over Facebook, nobody needs to ask you how your trip went, as they already know! Being present, and making connections, with those in our lives far surpasses any social media friendship.
So… as I bid farewell to my former classmates, with our friendships renewed, and vowing to catch up sooner rather than later, I think about my own social connections, my own communities. It’s time to nurture these as much for the others’, as well as my own, well-being.
Taking time out to re-connect in person and really give of yourself, is the greatest gift, not only for your friends and family, but for yourself, also.📷❤️
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